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May 2, 2018

Day 23. The 3,000nm mark was passed at 3am this morning. Today was the eggciting day. There were big eggspectations from all the crew.

Oh yes – the puns are back and in full flow!

The brief was to take an uncooked egg and to enclose it in a protective, non-plastic device (in case an eggscrutiating throw sent it into the sea), and hurl it from the foremast top as far aft as possible, without it breaking. Each watch had to present their eggsellent egg carrying device and then give one person the eggciting task of climbing with the egg, and then hurling it, avoiding, sea, sails and ropes (no problems about the crew being hit).

Forward Port created a marvel in the form of Eggwina, with ropey flowing golden ringlets of hair, strangely reminiscent of Cooks Assistant Katie. (To ensure we are fed for the rest of the voyage, we should point out that Katie’s hair is not ropey, not at all, just the curls and golden colour made them seem twin-like).

Eggwina escaped her trajectory unscathed with her pet egg. Likewise the eggs of the other watches were undamaged, Forward Starboard’s sputnik-like contraption the winner. The bosun and his mates failed dismally, despite an energetic dance to present the fatal design, cracking spectacularly on impact. The four uncracked eggs somehow found themselves cracking on Hamish, Al, and Jess’s heads.

The other notable matter of interest is the establishment of the Swedish Hair Dressing Salon, with the result that Morgan, Tim and Pops Ian have been transformed into new versions, virtually unrecognisable, of themselves. And we are still sailing gently onwards, at about 5.5kts, with t’gallant staysails set, which second mate Maz has not seen set since 2010.

The sea is 28.3 degrees and the sun is HOTTTT. The person on starboard watch is in danger of frying, but an ACE time is being had by all.

Starboard Watch: Clive, Colin, Harriet, Ian, Maisie, Michael, Morgan, Stuart


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