TNS454 12/12/15

Good news! We are not about to sink. This is because we have rats aboard. Rat droppings have been seen in the Upper Mess. They are small and black and our suspicion is that the rats are living in the bags of currants, because that is what they are excreting!
One of the cheeky little varmints has even made its appearance in the captain’s bed. Rats these days! They are getting far too comfortable! In the olde days rats had to scurry ten miles to work on a diet of hard tack and weevils but they don’t know they’re living these rats! Some of their droppings were traced to the biscuit box and one of them was even discovered in there. Living on custard creams! Yasser AraRat tried to make a nest on top of Richard’s head, but as Richard is newly shorn, there is a shortage of nesting material there. Fliss is a friendly sort of rat and Rizzo the Rat is also hanging out with us. Then there is the runt of the litter – the rat with no name. He has had a lot of dinner, so is feeling a bit ‘stuffed’! The office are organising a competition for Rats – we are awaiting the details with ‘baited’ breath!

Please note that these rats are not real but on sale from JST