There may have been important things happening aboard Tenacious all day but the only subject discussed was the Great Egg Drop. At Smoko ring doughnuts were put out; a conversation overheard said; “Should we use those as shock
absorbers?” Other conversations were preceded by people looking around for spies seeking technical details of the competition. Forward Starboard watch are happy to declare that we won – woo hoo! – the most scrambled egg prize in the Great Egg Drop Challenge of 2015! Granted, it’s not quite the eggollade we were eggspecting, but it is a tasty award nonetheless. Sadly our Egg Protection Contraption, The Gloria Gaynor, did not survive. We were pipped to the post for the Least Protective Egg Protection Contraption prize by BM Chris. Chris may have bent the dimensions
of time and space, and the fourth dimension, to transport his egg, but unfortunately it arrived inside out and leaking all over the deck. Whoops. This eggcitable event opened with the crew all gathered about the main mast
where the presentation of the design ideas began. BM Ted began with a presentation about his and BM Martin’s rocket-type device, explaining that it carried a friend they had met ashore, Squire P. Egg. Together, they were trying to prove that it is indeed possible to get a Squire P Egg into a round hole. When thrown, his Egg Protection device flew well, and probably would have worked if the attempt to prove you could get a Squire P. Egg into a round hole hadn’t fallen to the bottom of a square lift shaft. Gravity wins again.
Representing Aft Port Watch, Herr Professor Chris, with a thick German accent and an amusing pair of goggles, eggplained gravitational forces and trajectory mathematics, including consideration of the integral shock absorber system, (an ingenious arrangement of marshmallows which surely won them the day). From this, Herr Professor derived the famous equation: Constant Velocity plus Rigidity of the missile plus Absorptive capacity of the shock absorbing mechanism plus Parabola Described by the missile. In short; E=C R A P! Aft Port Watch won the day having one of only two un-cracked eggs, but we forgave them when Aft Starboard shared out their device’s cushiony marshmallow centre. Aft Starboard watch, led by Squadron Leader Don told us the evolution of their idea, starting with the memory of N.A.A.F.I hard-boiled eggs being dropped on the enemy. However, these eggs were clearly over boiled and later found to break the Geneva Convention as well as the competition rules so the team had to think again. Their device was of pioneering design, a handy stump sock filled with teabags, perhaps a homage to RAF history. Sadly, this Egg Protection Contraption flew least far, landing among the lifeboats on the roof of the forward deckhouse, but nothing could dent this happy watch’s morale.
Forward Port began their presentation with an introduction from the Chief Egghead explaining why (and how) Humpty Dumpty should have invested his money better in one of their devices instead of all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. David, the Chief Eggineer explained the design, a bagception of a bag within a bag within a bag. The Medical Eggsaminer determined the egg was indeed an egg, whilst the Health and Safety Eggspert, by virtue of being Scottish, decided that he didn’t care. Ruth, the Spiritual Marine Whisperer, treated us all to a unique invocation of the local spirits of whales and dolphins to bless their projectile. In honour of this, the contraption was covered in beautiful origami creatures of the deep, which have been safely rehomed to the Wildlife Board and to bunks all over the ship. Finally, their presentation was rounded off by eggtraordinary cheerleader Rosemary.
Forward Port came in fourth, with a brave attempt at nonchalance. The watch maintain that Humpty Dumpty would have been better protected with one of their devices, but after the eggy mess left on deck today, maybe they are just better at puzzles than King’s men. In the end, winners and losers had a wonderful time testing their ingenuity against eggs and gravity. The conclusion of the Great Egg Drop Challenge of 2015 marks another victory – this is the first year that all missiles, contraptions, projectiles and devices have stayed aboard the ship! No eggs
were lost at sea (although none survived the day. The marshmallows didn’t make it either.) Thanks to the Captain and the Bosun who organised the event and also investigated the gooey remains of the entries.